For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
