Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
