I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
