dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
