Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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