So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
