Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
