i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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