Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
