i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
