I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
