brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
