I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
