forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
