He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
