well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
