Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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