smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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