a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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