I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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