Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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