So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
