No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
