I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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