I wannas sexs uuuuu
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
should my penis look like a turkey
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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