Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
