everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
