also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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