No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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