I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it penis luge time yet?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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