y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
