They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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