: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i love accidental penises.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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