Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
