I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
