cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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