we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
