So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
