he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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