return my video game
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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