Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All I want is dick and wine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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