Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
