Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
