I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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