how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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