...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
