K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
