Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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