Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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