if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
