No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
